Binged it and there is a lot of potential. Here are my fresh thoughts:
Firstly, the character designs fit their characterization. The portrayal of Micah's anxiety is accurate and well done (also terribly relatable). The writing is mostly well written (I just had a few nitpicks with the writing style at some points but it is such a subjective thing I will not specify it). The characters have chemistry, and the banter is fun to read. The demo ran smoothly, I did not have trouble with the performance of the game or the pacing. Yoh's scene I like a lot because he feels very dynamic. I like the artstyle and lineart. The background music was not too quiet or too loud. I like the choice and volume for it.
Secondly, there was a typo in Avery's dialogue at one point. (When he asked Micah if he would want to be around a self deprecating person, I think). Watch out for those, developer. I have mixed feelings about the backgrounds. The texture looks nice and fitting with the main art but other times the contrast in styles is a little jarring. Not that distracting - but if you pay attention it is quite noticeable. More expressions on the characters would be lovely. For example, when Micah expressed his anger I truly would have felt it if his expression matched his words in the writing. /(unless I missed it? bc there are such changes in the cast's expressions shown in other moments)/ And just a couple more illustrations/details here and there would enrich the experience. For example, when the narration focuses on hands, show a drawing of their hands. I would've liked to see Avery smoking the cigarette so often brought up or at least see smoke around him (or a quick image of him with the cig when we meet him then simply change to his normal model).
Thirdly, I think some sound effects placed in the right places or in instances where sounds are significant or focused on by the narration would be great. Of course, these are extra suggestions. Only do them if manageable. The most important thing is that the game has no bugs or problems.
Overall, I enjoyed playing. And the character arc and lesson that can be done with Micah is great and it would have been very useful to 8th grade me. Will rate and review the full game. Patiently waiting.
Hello! Thank you so much for your in-depth and lovely review. More than that, thank you for giving my demo a chance! I'll tell you, I was surprised to see this comment in my notifications.
I appreciate you pointing out that typo for me. Considering the sheer volume of words in the code, spell-checking has proved to be very difficult so having fresh eyes notice things for me makes corrections all the more easy to implement.
I take your point about the style changes in the background — I've been thinking that myself. While I've been working on the main game, I've been considering changing some of the backgrounds that stand out a little too much like the train station and train itself.
Your suggestion for more expressions is definitely doable! You'll notice that the style of the sprites are a little different. That's because this project has been the main driver of my art progress over the last two years and I've been drawing the sprites as I get better and my art style changes. That's why each character only has five or so expression sprites currently but I've been increasing in confidence with regard to my art lately, so much so that I'm considering CGs more seriously and the addition of secondary sprites with different outfits.
I really like your idea about the little details being shown on screen. Up until now I haven't really had the skill for CGs like that but recently I've improved via leaps and bounds so I'm happy to give that a shot!
Thank you again for playing my game! And I'm glad you see the potential in Micah's character arc. It would be really nice if this indie game shapes someone's formation like so many things created by other people shaped mine.
Really incredible project! Well written with super interesting characters such as my husband Avery, a totally unique art style that feels very suitable for the kind of cosy setting and story being told. The choices made during the demo felt impactful, and you can definitely see the message that the game is trying to pass on even in these early stages.
I'm really excited to see where this project goes.
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Binged it and there is a lot of potential. Here are my fresh thoughts:
Firstly, the character designs fit their characterization. The portrayal of Micah's anxiety is accurate and well done (also terribly relatable). The writing is mostly well written (I just had a few nitpicks with the writing style at some points but it is such a subjective thing I will not specify it). The characters have chemistry, and the banter is fun to read. The demo ran smoothly, I did not have trouble with the performance of the game or the pacing. Yoh's scene I like a lot because he feels very dynamic. I like the artstyle and lineart. The background music was not too quiet or too loud. I like the choice and volume for it.
Secondly, there was a typo in Avery's dialogue at one point. (When he asked Micah if he would want to be around a self deprecating person, I think). Watch out for those, developer. I have mixed feelings about the backgrounds. The texture looks nice and fitting with the main art but other times the contrast in styles is a little jarring. Not that distracting - but if you pay attention it is quite noticeable. More expressions on the characters would be lovely. For example, when Micah expressed his anger I truly would have felt it if his expression matched his words in the writing. /(unless I missed it? bc there are such changes in the cast's expressions shown in other moments)/ And just a couple more illustrations/details here and there would enrich the experience. For example, when the narration focuses on hands, show a drawing of their hands. I would've liked to see Avery smoking the cigarette so often brought up or at least see smoke around him (or a quick image of him with the cig when we meet him then simply change to his normal model).
Thirdly, I think some sound effects placed in the right places or in instances where sounds are significant or focused on by the narration would be great. Of course, these are extra suggestions. Only do them if manageable. The most important thing is that the game has no bugs or problems.
Overall, I enjoyed playing. And the character arc and lesson that can be done with Micah is great and it would have been very useful to 8th grade me. Will rate and review the full game. Patiently waiting.
Lastly-
Props, Noodlings!
Hello! Thank you so much for your in-depth and lovely review. More than that, thank you for giving my demo a chance! I'll tell you, I was surprised to see this comment in my notifications.
I appreciate you pointing out that typo for me. Considering the sheer volume of words in the code, spell-checking has proved to be very difficult so having fresh eyes notice things for me makes corrections all the more easy to implement.
I take your point about the style changes in the background — I've been thinking that myself. While I've been working on the main game, I've been considering changing some of the backgrounds that stand out a little too much like the train station and train itself.
Your suggestion for more expressions is definitely doable! You'll notice that the style of the sprites are a little different. That's because this project has been the main driver of my art progress over the last two years and I've been drawing the sprites as I get better and my art style changes. That's why each character only has five or so expression sprites currently but I've been increasing in confidence with regard to my art lately, so much so that I'm considering CGs more seriously and the addition of secondary sprites with different outfits.
I really like your idea about the little details being shown on screen. Up until now I haven't really had the skill for CGs like that but recently I've improved via leaps and bounds so I'm happy to give that a shot!
Thank you again for playing my game! And I'm glad you see the potential in Micah's character arc. It would be really nice if this indie game shapes someone's formation like so many things created by other people shaped mine.
Really incredible project! Well written with super interesting characters such as my husband Avery, a totally unique art style that feels very suitable for the kind of cosy setting and story being told. The choices made during the demo felt impactful, and you can definitely see the message that the game is trying to pass on even in these early stages.
I'm really excited to see where this project goes.
🥹🥹🥹🥹